When It Isn't What It Should Be
by teenage-dirtbag
Summary: Looking back on his life, before Lucas and Haley and basketball, he realized that he only had her. She was the first one to his heart. And maybe she would be the one to help mend it.


**A/N: I've been reading some ****fics**** and found some on Nathan and Peyton. They weren't half bad, I mean, when I thought about it, Peyton and Nathan would be okay (even though I'm a Lucas and Peyton shipper.) So I wrote this. Hope you like it!**

**When It Isn't What It Should Be**

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Peyton jumped at the sound of the doorbell. She'd been perfectly content immersing herself in daytime television, opting not to go to work today. Brooke looked at her concernedly when she saw that Peyton had a carton of Ben and Jerry's in one hand and a big spoon in the other, kissing her goodbye on the forehead, telling her for the nth time that it was going to be alright. She rolled her eyes.

"Get me more of these when you get home, will you?" Peyton called after her.

Brooke sighed and made her way to the boutique.

Now it was one o'clock in the afternoon and she didn't really feel like eating lunch, having consumed two pints of the ice cream. She stood up and headed towards the door, praying that it wasn't someone with a name that started with the letter L.

"Hey," Peyton said, surprised. Nathan looked at her and smiled tentatively.

"I didn't know where else to go." He admitted.

"Come on in."

Nathan entered the spacious living room and surveyed the area. He heard voices arguing in the background, followed by sensuous trumpet music. He looked at the television, smirking.

"Soap operas?" He asked Peyton, who immediately turned off the program.

"That's what I've been reduced to." She replied wittily, with a hint of sadness in her voice. They sat down on the couch.

"Luke's been all brotherly, so he took me in after Haley kicked me out. He's been supportive and all, considering that she was his sister longer than I was his brother. But I just, you know, just," Nathan looked at the framed photographs standing on top of the side table. There was one of all of them when they renewed their vows. Peyton noticed it, so she grabbed the spoon from the empty ice cream pint and threw it towards the frame. It fell down and shattered on the ground.

"I'm always on team Nathan, you know that." Peyton replied reassuringly.

"I know, Peyton." Nathan smiled at her. "How have you been?"

"You know, better than expected. Brooke thinks I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown and keeps her therapist's number on speed dial. I've just stopped hating Lindsay even though I still want to, and I think I may still be in love with your brother."

"That sucks." Nathan answered.

"Well, that's life for you. What do you want to do now?"

"Got any more of these?" Nathan asked, pointing to the carton of ice cream. Peyton's smile widened.

A few hours later, they were mimicking the voices on a Spanish soap opera while feeding each other ice cream like little children. Their laughter echoed throughout the house, and if Brooke would've walked in on them, she would've put that speed dial to good use.

"What did he say?" Nathan asked, putting a spoonful of Cherry Garcia into his mouth.

"Whatever happened to us, Eduardo?" Peyton said in a bad Hispanic accent. She broke into a fit of laughter.

"We were young, Maria Lucinda, we thought of nothing but childish desires." Nathan copied, gesturing like the actor on television. "But never in my heart did I once doubt my love for you."

"It was never about love, Eduardo, it was just lust." Peyton started saying a string of Spanish words she'd learned in LA while working with a Latino singer. Nathan fed her ice cream to stop the words. "You could tell that Maria Lucinda is totally lying!" Peyton commented.

"I will not live my life on what might have been!" Nathan again said, with a better accent than Peyton's, and then laughed when he saw Eduardo kiss Maria Lucinda passionately. A man entered the room.

"Maria Lucinda!" The man exclaimed. "Eduardo, my brother, what is this?"

Just then, a woman came in the room, as outraged as the man. "I knew it! I'm your wife, Eduardo, and I was a friend to you, Maria Lucinda! How could you?"

"That's very curious." Peyton noticed, looking at Nathan.

"What is?" Nathan asked, his voice muffled by a mouthful of ice cream.

Peyton appreciated Nathan's lack of immediate comprehension. She remembered, when they were together, the jokes she made about him wearing a hat during sex to his face and he wouldn't get it. He had the dumb, goofy smile that won her over countless times. She suddenly hated the stupid soap opera.

"Nothing." She replied, feigning innocence.

A couple of hours of bad soap operas and a few more pints of Ben and Jerry's later, Peyton was asleep on Nathan's lap. A stray strand of blond hair made its way into her face, and he gently brushed it off with his hand. She stirred, but then nestled comfortably into his lap and continued on sleeping.

"Peyton, I'm home!" He heard a female voice scream. He looked at Peyton, making sure she wasn't bothered. Brooke walked in the living room and saw them.

"Nathan, I didn't know you were here." She said, carrying a bag of ice cream.

"I was alone." He explained. She nodded and dropped the bag, looking down at Peyton's sleeping frame.

"She always had difficulty sleeping." Brooke stroked Peyton's forehead.

"We just overdosed on ice cream, I guess." He shrugged.

"I'll call Owen; tell him I can't make it tonight. Hang on." Brooke said, reaching for the phone.

"No, its fine, Brooke. I'll stay with her." Nathan offered.

"Are you sure? You won't rape her or anything like that?" Brooke joked.

"If I would, it won't be rape, trust me." Nathan winked. Brooke grimaced and hit his head playfully. "I'll take care of her. I love her too, you know."

"I know." Brooke said. She smiled apologetically and kissed Nathan on the forehead. "It's going to be alright."

Nathan sighed, and soon he was alone again with Peyton.

It was twelve thirty in the morning. Nathan fell asleep; his head reclined on a makeshift fortress of pillows. Peyton woke up, and noticed the figure she was sleeping on.

"Nate?" She whispered groggily.

Nathan mumbled. Peyton shook his shoulder gently, and he opened his eyes. "What's wrong, Peyton?" He frowned.

"I've been sleeping on you." She observed.

"You looked so peaceful I didn't want to disturb you. Plus, Brooke said you haven't been sleeping much lately." Nathan said, sitting up. "Come on, we better get you to bed. Brooke's out with that bartender from TRIC."

Peyton nodded, and she let Nathan guide her to the bedroom. She lay down the soft mattress and was overcome with the sensation of sleep immediately. However, she stayed awake, suddenly afraid.

"Nate?"

"Yeah, Peyt?"

"Can you stay with me until I fall asleep?"

"I'll stay with you until you wake up." Nathan replied, his voice protective and sure, and lay down beside her. She smiled and closed her eyes.

"Nate?" She said again, the strain evident in her voice. He figured it was only a matter of time before she fell asleep.

"Yeah, Peyt?"

"We weren't horrible together."

"I know."

"I loved you."

"I loved you too."

Peyton yawned. "I want us to be real. I don't want us to be like Eduardo and Maria Lucinda."

"Who?"

But Peyton replied with a soft breathing sound. Nathan smiled and looked the way the moonlight hit her face. He would not admit it, but back when they were together, he would always wake up in the middle of the night and just stare at her, her body draped in white cotton or deep blue silk, and smile at the thought that he might have her for the rest of his life. He would sometimes do it too, with Haley, but somehow, it wasn't the same.

He closed his eyes. Looking back on his life, before Lucas and Haley and basketball, he realized that he only had her. She was the first one to his heart. And maybe she would be the one to help mend it.

He now sincerely believed that he was going to be alright.

**Please review! **


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